Even though we don’t have a television in the house, we still have Internet which means I have access to sites like hulu.com and yidio.com as well as network sites.  Since my discovery of the former two sites about a month ago, I’ve been watching like mad!  I don’t even know why…just about everything I watch is unimaginably horrible.  Painfully, excruciatingly horrible.  But I keep watching!  Television is an evil drug.  My time could be–and will be after this post–spent on far more useful tasks like sleeping, for example.  I imagine that bad television is more a product of pandering to an unintelligent audience rather than the expression of unintelligent writers, but does it really matter?  Either way, it’s bad television!  Before my vegetative state comes to a screeching halt, I need to see in black and white why I’m giving it up.

Shows I won’t miss:

Brothers and Sisters.  The liberal swill on this sappy soap is astounding, especially in light of how its conservative characters are developed.  Its storylines are convoluted and pointless.  Why I’ve tortured myself with every episode since its inception is simply unanswerable!

Monk.  The mysteries are not so mysterious.  And why in the world does everyone recognize him as a famous detective?  How many detectives can you name in your city?  It’s weird.  Just weird!

The Simpsons and Family Guy.  It’s not that I don’t like animated series (take Futurama as case in point); I just don’t like THESE series.

Lipstick Jungle.  This is one of those shows that I watched because it was available.  Why in the world does Hollywood make adultery seem romantic and blissful?  It’s insulting to people everywhere.

House.  Why is he always right?  That’s as boring as it is ridiculous.  How do I warm up to an abrasive misanthrope?  The answer is that I don’t.

Desperate Housewives.  I started watching this because some coworkers urged me on.  I’m not at that job anymore so it’s about time I let go of this show as well.

Ugly Betty. What kills me is the way I dread viewing the episodes but click on them anyhow.  It’s like a DS9 flashback.  **Shudder** That was an awful show!

Private Practice. I have no defense for this show’s plot, or lack thereof.  But I do find the characters likable for some reason.

Shows I will miss:

Grey’s Anatomy. I hate admitting that I watch this series.  But I think my reluctance about giving it up has to do with how much time I’ve already invested.  It’s sort of like having a hard time breaking up when you’ve dated a loser for so long.  Then, you’d have to face the cold, hard fact that you wasted your time.  You have to face the unfamiliar instead of resting uncomfortably in your well-worn misery.  But give it up I shall because it’s terrible.  Dark and twisty?  No, more like prissy and whiny.

Bones. This show is an affront to Ph.D. holders everywhere.  Its characters are supposedly geniuses but this seems an accurate depiction only if you believe the Professor on Gilligan’s Island was a genius.  The title character herself is a complete moron.  Let’s face it, without access to television, I’m pretty clueless when it comes to many mainstream allusions; yet, I am perfectly aware when they’re being made.  There are specific contextual clues and I may not know specifics, I am savvy enough to recognize specific names.  But on this show, the main character, through the wooden reading by the actor, shows no such recognition.  It’s so annoying!  But without access to Law & Order: SVU, I really enjoy the crime show aspect and may have a hard time giving this up.

Shows I refuse to stop watching:

Lost.  Nuff said.

Pushing Daisies.  Well?  It’s imaginative and cute, but with an edge.

Fringe.  I have to suspend a lot of disbelief but two episodes in, I’m having a good time.  I’m hoping it doesn’t meander down the X-Files alien route.  When it starts to take its own mythology too seriously, I may back out, though.

Samantha Who?  It’s only a 30-minute show.  And it’s my guilty pleasure.  Why can’t likable characters be the new gimmick?  That would make the television landscape far more attractive as far as I’m concerned.

I’m in a funk: I’m not replying to emails or returning calls.  Having a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old makes it hard to isolate myself in my dark cave of despair all alone, but I manage well.  After all, depression is pretty good skill of mine.  I have practiced it to perfection.

Crap.  I don’t even have the energy to type this entry.  That sort of worries me.  I mean, I’m so angry all the time, so full of venom for myself and everyone around me.  Fortunately, the anger is manageable; it gives me something with which to work.  But that psychomotor retardation sets in and that enormous weight of depression that compresses my entire body.  Ugh.  That’s beyond my ability to manage.  It’s so hard to breathe…or think…or type.